Note #22

Dengan nama Allah Ar-Rahman Ar-Rahim..

Alhamdulillah pendrive chibi maruko dah jumpa. Dalam bakul baju. Tah kenapa boleh ada kat situ tak tau. Gembira. 

Rubik/Puzzle Cube

Puzzle cube yang kita bole pusing2 kan dengan tujuan nak samakan warna setiap sisi tu biasa digelar rubik, walaupun berjutaa produk tu boleh didapati dari China. Produk China murah, kualiti ok je. Kalau harapkan cap rubik, memang ibarat keje 2hari, gaji tu untuk beli rubik je. Aku kini selaku pekerja part time merangkap NEET memang xmampu la. Puzzle 3x3x3 dah reti selesaikan, kiranya nak celen yang baru la pulak, 4x4x4, malangnya belum sempat habis berguru dengan Rob, dah hancur puzzle tu. Xberkualiti rupanya. Dah mengadu kat mira dah, dia sensei puzzle aku, harap2 dapat jumpa mira cepat mintak dia pasangkan balik..

***

Rindu

Kawan kelas masa kat yu dulu dah nak kawen. Wahh, tumpang gembira, tahniah. Dia bukan orang pertama dari budak2 kelas aku dulu yang nak kawen, dah ade dah kawen dah pun, tapi terasa kot bila dia umumkan dia dah bertunang. Sebab dia ni aku anggap kawan kot, bukan sekadar budak kelas. Ape pun, semoga berbahagia hingga ke syurga dengan pilihan hati, insyaAllah. 

Rindu bumi kenyalang, rindu tempat menimba ilmu. Rasa nak nangis, ada skali aku rasa nak nangis dekat bilik k4d yang aku diam masa belajar dulu. Memang nostalgia, rasanya kalau aku jenis yang banyak duit dah pergi kot lawat adik2 kat sana, cikgu2 kat sana, kucing2 pun.. Rindu semua tentang uni, rindu sarawak. Entah bila lagi dapat jejak tanah sarawak, entah bila lagi dapat menatap langit cantik sarawak. Tu lah kalau aku dapat kerja kat Kuching tu macam best jgk la, at least tempat yang aku suka.^^ 

Allah, temukanlah aku dengan kuching/sarawak lagi, berkali-kali lagi harapnya.

Note #21

In the name of Allah, The Creator...


Thursday, my morning begun with amina's crying. She wanna sleep, but cannot sleep, and ended up crying ridiculously and everything I've done was useless. Till i called up Chik for help. About 5 minutes later Chik came home and she fell asleep already. Babysitting alone is hard.

Tomorrow's another day to babysit her.

***

Give up?

The other voice in my head questioned me about giving up. It's all started with the interview. I prefer to know  the exact time for me to give up, so i can do it. The voice was asking about, "why give up so easily?" It does sounds bad if i say i am someone who is easy to give up. Let's elaborate the meaning of give up here. I would say, give up is important, for me, it means, letting go of something. I don't want to live tied to the failed past. I want to let go the dark past. So that's the use of give up here. Just imagine how to live holding to the past, because you decide to not give up. My definition, you can ignore me.

***

miscellaneous 

Whoops, i just realize that getting back to student life means 'student poverty'. I will not have money as three month before. I can't go to Japan Club on weekend because of classes, and i can't register for Japanese class because i can't afford it. Oh dear oh dear. Self study for N4 i guess. Can't be help then, i'll see what can i do to fix this.

Note #20

In The Name of Allah, The creator of us all...

Recently 

We gain some, and we lose some .. I live believing in this order..

and .. always been worried whenever i got good things/news one after another..

What happened to me, in one week period, i am accepted into university, got a call for interview, passed my JLPT N5 exam.

at the same time.. i lost my 16GB pendrive, there's another thing i lost,  *forgot what it was*

I noticed something, even though i lost something really precious, that pendrive contain my job application letters and other things, i kinda able to let it go. Surely sad, but it didn't bother me as much as it used to.

Allah always so gracious, He give me three things and took only 2 things from me. Praised upon Him for everything, Alhamdulillah *unlimited*

***

Work/ Study 

I'm still volunteering at the science center. 2-3 days a week. Yesterday i went for a medical check up for university registration. So expensive T___T it's RM90. But the good thing is, my current height is 158cm, 2-3 cm taller than i thought i was.. lol..

This is the 2nd week after my interview. I was about to give up on the post, but today, met azizi and he told me something that return my hope. lol, i'm sure he's not lying, but i am such a paranoid to feel good about it, azizi told me what he heard, but i don't want to interpret it. ahaa.. yes, now i am complicated beings..

Mom told me to work first and do part time study. If i got the job, that's what i'm going to do. Not sure if i can part time my study, but going to try first. My brother is doing part time study while working and i really admire him. Of course, he's really busy.

My current status now is a NEET with plans. *lame*

I will register for my MSc first, if i really got the job, i'll postpone my study and go for work. If i don't get it, I'll become a student again and continue my volunteer work at the science center in weekdays, and classes on weekend. Only my plan, I hope either one work, I pray to be given the best for me at the right time. amiin..InsyaAllah..

Note #12

Just came back from the doctor's. Was accompanied my aunt to buy food stock for the week and stopped by at this clinic. I had my ribs aching for almost 3 weeks. This is the 2nd time i go to the doctor. He told me one of my rib are swelling, that's why i feel the pain every time i inhale deeply. That was caused by cold water i used to take a bath. Since i worked, i always took my bath late at night, around 10-12 and i exposed to air-cond the whole day. A month ago i had cough, and not so long after healed, few days ago i got it again. Luckily i take initiative to buy the expectorant syrup immediately and now seems like almost gone. Pray for my health, and my families' health too. 

***

Work

The training is still ongoing. We done so many things. I accidentally willing to take the task to decorate the socks we will use for coming program(decorate it like a puppet). So i did it, and it require a lot of patience and ideas. Lucky for me my team mates help a lot. We also have to sew up an amount of cotton balls, 3 person are in charge of it. But it takes time. I finished my socks decoration and help them with cotton balls. Up until now, 4 more needed. My friends and i always end up prick our fingers with the needles. 

Will show the pic of puppet socks later..

This probably going to be the last weekend i have my holiday. Starting 10th of november, we're going to be very busy with the new program in the science center. So i'll have it wisely. Less than a month before JLPT. So scared. I memorize very little of kanji. I'll try to study on weekend or after work. I have to, i'll try not to sleep so early and stop internet'ing..

***

random

I read Bumi Cinta on my way home from work. I read about Sabra and Shatila massacre. That made me shed tears. They are so cruel, how can a human treat other human that way. What right do they have to do that? Even the tragedy was so long ago, but i believe most muslims never forget that. The innocent people was killed, even the children, and they shamelessly continue the killing until today. Just wait for the punishment, the equivalent one, no one can do that except Allah. Allah love is for those who died in sabilillah.   Let us improve ourself to be a better muslim, the one who humbly dedicate out life only to Allah. Insyaallah our life and death will be in iman and islam. Ameen.

Think that's all for this entry, until the next one.. May Allah bless us

Note #9 : OJT

In the name of Allah..

Today is my 5th day on job training(ojt). I finally got the hang of it, i mean the open ended questions we should construck and show to our area manager/sv. I'm getting comfortable with the colleague, the seniors, and the staffs. They're actually very kind. I met lots of seniors which are older than me, but we just talk casually using 'aku' 'kau' to address each other. Seems like age didn't matter here. Even some staffs who's training us told me to not call he using honorific like 'kakak'. I'll adapt to the way they prefer.

Today i was sent to station platform. The famous oil platform in there. I got paired with H-san and he's so kind. The senior volunteer there also help us a lot. He shared his experiences with us and taught us on the things exhibit in the station. We have calligraphy  booth and kids love to write the different kind of writings using brush and ink. We prepared a sample of writing vary from arabic, chinese, jawi, thai, to japanese and korean. Lucky for us, there are visitors from thai walk in and i ask the kid to show me how to write the letters. She was so kind and told me how. Some malays kids write a beautiful chinese words using brush, n apparently they studying in chinese school, so LUCKY  >,< 

3 days left to complete my ojt. I'm lacking od area manager's signatures from my 1st and 2nd day. It's hard to find them when i'm sent to different stations. Hope i can get it before my 8th day. Pray for me. 

With love: kuroneko

Foot Note #1

Just drop by to say i'm alive.

i've something to do making my time online limited (still a NEET).

n about the interview mentioned earlier, i got in.

in orientation week now.

Gotta tell all about it later.

Pls come n read again this sunday or monday. It's a promise of course.

Tq for whoever spent the time viewing my blog.

Note #8

It's 22nd of September, My bro's and sis' birthday. I wish them happiness and barakah in their life. May Allah bless u always. ^^

***

Today, i'm done with my first job interview. I met an unexpected person today, and yesterday. But today, wasn't as exciting as the person i met yesterday. But the interviewer asked me if i know her. "I innocently answer yes, she's my jr. " I can't really explained what happen in there, but i let out my otaku-ness. One of the interviewer pointed out my ability to speak japanese. I answer with confidence that i can engage everyday conversation and giving direction in the language. That's my only strong point, but my friend afchan impressed the by doing the introduction of the place in japanese, so she skipped the part where we're needed to pick an object and describe about them. Perhaps i made a grave mistake, i answer a question without firm knowledge, i didn't say i don't know, and it turns out WRONG! Fufufu, i made mistakes. The interviewer are so warm and welcoming, but i believe they'll picked us properly based on our communication skill which i think not at all my strong point, which i think the one i desperately need to polish. I gotta study about communication and presentation skills more from my SV, Prof L. Suddenly i recall the mickey mouse and water. I miss my sv.

Apparently, the interview drained me out. I went with no courage, once i reached the place, i feel so wanting to join the family, they're warm, and we received at least twice good luck wishes from the staff who wandering around. Somehow their welcoming attitude made me feel at ease. Looking at them, i feel like" ah, it's good if i can say something to ease other people like that". Well to do that, not necessarily only when working there. I mean, i want to practice a good way off communicating with ppl. Rather than competing, i would love to work together, and achieve something. Okay, am i sounded like an noncompetitive person now? I'm sure competition is important, but i prefer team work, and at the same time will not give up to be a dependent person. 

For the time being, i haven't found where's my passions are, i only at the stage to recognize the value i want to practice in working places, among anyone i meet. May everyone who came,and coming into my life will teach me something. InsyaAllah..

Note #7

In the name of Allah Ar-Rahman Ar-Rahiim

I just did an experiment today, and i found the result was really *omoroi! I won't tell what is it in case some people who happen to read this get annoyed. That should the preface of this entry.

***

As a preparation for coming interview, i've done updating my resume, and prepare my certs. I've to write about myself so i will not lost if the interviewer ask me to introduce myself. Actually, i don't know how to tell others about myself, even more if impromptu. Means i don't really know myself, i only know what i feel. huh~ They say, smart casual is enough for the interview, i look up on how is smart casual, bcs for me, what ever we wear casually is casual. The images shown for smart casual is nothing like muslimah attire at all. Since i don't want to wear short shirt or short hijab, i'll be wearing my usual blouse, a knee-length blouse with trousers. So yeah, that's it.

I'm worried about this, i'm worried if i can't practice muslimah wears when working. I never intend to leave it. If this job is good, i pray so that Allah give me the chance to work, and if it is not, then it's better if i don't get it. I leave it all to Allah, may He give me what i need, may He put me in His protection.

***

There's 2 books i'm currently reading. One is Bumi Cinta by Habiburrahman El Shirazy, another one is .hack// , i bought Bumi Cinta almost a year ago in Jogja, the book written in Bahasa Indonesia. The setting was in Russia. So i'll get this snowy feeling when read the book. I love reading Kang Abik's (the writer's nickname) book because it contain a lot of advices from Hadith and Al-Quran and the Ulama. The second one was adaptation from a game. .hack// is about Akira who play online game for the sake of finding the truth about the cause of his brother went into coma when playing the game. Hidden, Forbidden, Holy Land is the mysterious place in the game that lead to the incident. I got the book from Kak Zirah, she lent to me, the series consist of 4 volumes, but she only has 2 of it. It's interesting.

*from japanese word omoshiroi, means interesting or  funny, here means interesting.

Note #5

The thing between China and Japan is still going on, no, heated up. Uh, until when will this going on? I don't really follow the news tho. Yamachan and Daichan, and Haruna went to film SP of Kindaichi in HK, will they be alright? It's not China mainland, but i'm pretty sure many people there also affected by the tension between the two countries. Some said, they we're threw harsh words by the locals. Hope there's no physical injury involve, as mentally, they should be able to handle it (esp yama n daichan). 

***

I went to volunteer as a part timer at this place. If i am lucky enough, they'll call for an interview this Saturday. I hope i'll get the job. I want to earn some money, i want to do something, i want to gain experience. Among the options of jobs, i choose mostly the one required me to move here and there. I think it is also require me to talk to people, the visitors. I refused to tick on admin job, not bcs i know it all, but i learn less there. Admin work aren't that expensive to sell when you're in job hunting. They require you to have this effective communication everywhere. For people like me, it's hard. Idon't have much confidence in myself on almost everything, I need a platform to develop my confidence facing people, and communicate effectively and practice my english in communication. 

Mak is helping taking care of amina now, and i'm helping her. So if i get the part time job, mak will have to do it alone. It's kinda hard bcs sometimes she's having muscle pain. If I didn't get the job, i can continue helping my mak until we found a nanny for amina. Either way, i get the job or not, i still get benefit, only in different way, if u get what i mean. I'll pray hard, and left it all in the hand of The Almighty. Amiin.

***

On the same day i went to apply for the part time job, i also went to look for my JLPT test center. I was told it's located somewhere in Pudu, a Confucian Private Secondary School or so it is called. Looking from the map provided, it was hella easy to find it, just walk out of the station, behind this building, there it is. Of course we found it really easy, it's just meters walk out of the station entrance, but the thing is, it's hard to find the back door. We went on Sunday and the main gate won't be open on weekend. The test also will be held on Sunday, i've no choice but to use the back gate. We walked quite a distance in the crowds and decide to asked someone where is the gate. Then this nice aunt guide us and we follow her instruction. I hate the fact that i've to use the small pathway at the back street. It's creepy, but luckily it's not that long. We finally found the school which where the test center will be. Oh yes, thanks to afchan who's willing to accompany me. We talk to the school's guard, asked him if there's a other option to reach the school in safer way. He said, there's another way, but it's nothing safer. Bcs the other way is bigger, but a quiet one. The distance, longer. He even told us his sister or daughter(cannot recall correctly) was a victim of snatch thief when using the path we took. Afchan told me she could accompany me if she's not working by the time. I don't feel good to burden her. So let's see later if there's another way. Sis also offer to send me if she could. 

***

Afchan and i went to kino and i decide to get my first copy of Bakuman. At first, i'm thinking to buy the translated one but it cost twice the raw version. I got mine the raw version. Haven't finished reading the whole series, but will do.

Bakuman Vol#1

Note #3

In the name of Allah Ar-Rahman Ar-Rahim..

Remember i told about my proposal application? Now i'm done with it. Sent to the potential supervisor and got the reply. There are different versions of this application thingy, someone told me I've to find the sv first, have him/her read my proposal, sort everything out then apply. What i was told by the lecturer, she told me to apply, let see if i meet all the requirements and got accepted, the sv will come after that. I was so paranoid thinking of all the possibilities, I've infected by 'what-if' syndrome now.

So i decide to just do as told, ah, but the application fees is cost something.. -__-" So i haven't apply, I'll take sometime to calm down. Btw, it'll take sometime bcs i need to get referees for my application..gotta contact my last sv to get it. My head in a mess.

Leave that aside, i'm trying on job hunting too. Most of the jobs appeared for application requires experience, at least 1 year. Where do i get that experience? I only have 2 month internship experience. Gotta  include it in resume. I wish to do something related to environment, i'm interested. Few encourage the fresh graduates to apply. I will try my luck.

I have to do many things. The mess with the mentioned applications make me forgot about JLPT. I still need to look for the exam format, the questions, the syllabus. My books seems to be quite hard to understand. I need aid from the internet sources for my revision, also i might contact sensei for grammatical problems. Will use the internet wisely while it's still here. I've 2 month before JLPT.

Maybe there are still a lot in me, can't find the proper word to flow it out. I end it here for today. Until next time.

ps: since i've change my blog title (Notes of a NEET), i'm going to count my entries with numbers. it's troublesome to think of the title. This is note 3, this should be note #1 and note #2